btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
