the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
