Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
