"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I pour the whiskey from now on
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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