i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
