I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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