I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
