We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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