is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
