I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
