All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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