somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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