We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
