I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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