dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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