hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
