lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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