i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My balls are so social today.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
