I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
