no, he came in my armpit
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
