at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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