yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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