there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
