please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
