what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
