Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize