i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Text me some of your sweat
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
