All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
