what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Come see our sink grown plant.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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