Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
