please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
