i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
