i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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