SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
