Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
