I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
