Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
