whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
