you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
