hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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