I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
