Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
