I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
