Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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