i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
