I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
