She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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