I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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