help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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