Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
That accounts for only three of the penises
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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