Got a toothbrush?
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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