end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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